Boring (thank goodness!) Update

Thursday will be 8 weeks from my surgery. I honestly don't feel as great as I thought I would, but I feel pretty darn good. I have to wait until 12 weeks to lift, but I'm allowed to do cardio workouts so I made my first attempt yesterday with an outside run. I generally hate running, especially outdoors, but it felt great to workout. I love that I'm sore today from something not related to this whole thing. I'm also super excited that I'm able to wear jeans again! I was getting really tired of leggings and long shirts. I've still got the little belly, but at least I can tuck it into my jeans with only a little discomfort. It's funny the trivial things that you miss after they're taken away from you. I really never thought I'd be so happy about pants and running.

I also survived my best friend's wedding this weekend, which consisted of lots of dancing and drinking, and very little sleep. It was overall one of my favorite weekends, maybe of my life...aside from the fact that it was ridiculously fun, I've never seen Kerry so happy...it was just perfect! Aside from 16 years of friend, Kerry was with me through the whole donation process; she helped take care of me and came to the hospital more than once without me having to ask, so it was really important for me to be with her on such a special day. It also made me happy that I chose to donate my kidney, rather than part of my liver because I most definitely would not be functioning today had that been the case!
Me and Kerry at the wedding: 

One of the weirder things I've noticed is that I'm not gaining weight. In the weeks following the surgery I dropped down to my lowest weight (probably from not being able to eat a lot and loss of muscle mass), and I was concerned that once I started eating normally I'd gain a lot back since I wasn't able to exercise, but at my appointment 2 weeks ago I hadn't even gained a pound back. I'm definitely not complaining, I just thought it was interesting that my body is functioning a little differently in that way (because normally I gain weight just looking at food!).

It's also really cool that I've been noticing a lot of transplant stuff lately...like Wilson donating his liver to a patient on an episode of House that I was watching last week, or Frank getting his kidney removed (when he was supposed to getting a new liver on the black market) on Shameless. Even Hannibal had a character talking about living with one kidney after one of his was cut out (and eaten, actually, if I remember correctly). I love seeing stories of organ donation, and I hope to eventually be able to help spread the need for it. I learned from seeing a news story, so you never know what just hearing a little story can do!

Emotionally I haven't had any issues. In the first 3 weeks I became a little over the pain and kind of nervous I'd feel that way forever, but I was lucky not to feel any kind of depression, which is something I hear about often in the transplant groups I'm a part of. People sometimes liken it to pregnancy post-partum. I never felt anything like that and I haven't for a minute regretted doing it. It's hard to describe the feeling I got when I learned that not only did I start a chain of 4 kidney transplants, but that my direct recipient is doing great. Since I wasn't a part of the transplant community before this whole thing, sometimes it's hard for me now to read all the stories of people waiting for organs. I get sad that I can't help more people, but it's a small comfort to be able to remind myself that I did what I could to at least help one.

So in general, I'm pretty much back to normal. There are a few things I still can't do, like pick up my nephew or work out my stomach. I still feel strange when I eat too much, or when I belly-laugh in excess. I'm sure in a few weeks that will be gone and I'll be 100%. More than anything I'm looking forward to getting back to full out workouts. My life doesn't really need to change from surgery...I don't have dietary restrictions or anything, but it's more important than before that I stay in shape and keep my weight down (because I can't risk diabetes).

My one incision is little weird right now, but once that heals and my stomach goes down I'll post pictures of my scars. :)

4 weeks!

Today marks 4 weeks from my surgery. I'm definitely not 100% but I'm feeling so much better. I'd say I'm about 70% at this point. Sometimes I feel worse, but I've definitely passed that threshold of awful into consistently tolerable. I'm starting to be able to focus (I'm reading and watching new tv shows/movies...Sabrina right now...that Humphrey Bogart is so dreamy!), and I can get almost comfortable. I'm still tired a lot, but I think that has to do with not being able to sleep that great. It's crazy how the human body heals itself. To think just a month ago I had a major organ removed from my body and today I'm sitting here virtually pain free...it's just so cool. Now I'm looking forward looking down and not seeing a swollen stomach, and being able to wear jeans. I'm also really hoping that I'm able to dance at my best friend's bachelorette party next weekend. We're going to an 80s club in New York City and I got a great dress for the occasion (it hides my stomach pooch too!). 

Incisions at 4 weeks: 

Some random observations looking back at my surgery/recovery:

-One of the weirdest things about it was that I was hot pretty much all of the time. Generally I'm a cold person (and I don't mean my personality, although some might beg to differ!), but I sweat so much, I'm guessing from one of the medications. I hated it!

-I usually don't mind just hanging out, watching tv or whatnot, but I really wanted time to pass quickly during recovery. Being uncomfortable nearly 100% of the time made everything weird.

-The physical feelings I felt were hard to describe...it was like nothing I've ever felt before or can imagine feeling again. It was definitely tolerable, but just overall strange. It's not often that you feel the pangs of nerve endings healing in your abdomen.

-Medicine is important. I'm one of those people that never goes to the doctors, I just keep moving and let it pass when I don't feel well or am in pain. But I learned through this that medicine helps you heal and oxycodones are delightful (except that they make it hard to poop...that's the living worst!).

-Everything passes. I knew that going in, which is why I was so okay with doing something so uncomfortable, but it just solidified that feeling. Pain (physical and emotional) is just temporary. Someday (soon!) this will all just be but a distant memory, but for the person that received my kidney it will hopefully be one that changed their life. I don't know for sure (I really hope to get some kind of information on that at my next appoint in a couple of weeks), but it helps to think that might be true.

That's all for now...I'm going to go enjoy being able to sit around and watch movies for the afternoon. :)

Finally an Update

I've only written once in the last almost 2 weeks and it was so boring, I didn't even bother to post it. Up until yesterday I had only had 2 good days, and was otherwise feeling very uncomfortable still. Luckily a few days ago, the gas subsided (until then I was getting very bad pains behind my ribs, making it hard to breath). Yesterday and today have been great. I'm still tired and I'm getting waves of pains in my lower stomach, but other than that I'm feeling so much better. I even laid on my left side for about 10 minutes last night...hopefully that means I'll be able to sleep comfortably soon! And I've been getting solid blocks of 4-5 hours of sleep the last couple of nights which is the most I've gotten. The pooch I've got going is also still pretty sensitive, sometimes I get annoyed having clothing over it or it makes me a little nauseous if something is rubbing it for too long, but it's getting better. The incisions themselves are definitely healing. I took pictures at 2 and 3 weeks to post, but today I got a new phone and lost all my pictures so this is what they look like today at 3 1/2 weeks:

I've been able to get out...lunches with friends, running errands, and lots of Target trips with my mom. Today I drove for the first time, which was really nice. My appetite isn't as big as it used to be(which I'm happy about for now!), but I'm eating much more regularly now, as well. I'm still walking hunched over a bit (today my nephew said "You look like a grandma!"), but I'm standing a lot straighter than before. I have my next doctor's appointment on March 10th, so I'm hoping to find out how the recipient is doing while I'm there. Altogether I'm feeling a little better each day, and while I'm still uncomfortable and tired I'm finally starting to see the possibility of feeling like myself again, which I'm so very much looking forward to!

Monday & Tuesday

I promised myself that I wouldn't blog when I wasn't feeling well, but I'm making an exception today because I've found a comfortable sitting position for the moment and I'd like to take advantage of it. The past couple days have been more uncomfortable than I expected. I'm getting a little frustrated with myself because I thought I'd heal quickly and without any issues, but that hasn't totally been the case. I really feel like that stomach bug set me back. Today was a particularly rough day for me. Not going to the bathroom is really awful and I had a very hard time moving a gas bubble that kept getting caught behind my ribs (breathing in was not a good time!). I definitely realized that I need to be walking more than I have, but it's hard with all this crazy snow! My mom has been really helpful though about trying to get me out, if only just to Target to walk around. On top of that I've been a little bit stressed about life in general. For those of you that don't know, I was laid off a few weeks before surgery. It was actually really great timing, as I don't think it would be good if I was in a hurry to get back to work, but I think just being in a negative state of mind today had me a little worried about what I'm going to do with myself once I'm feeling better. I really just need to relax and take life one day at a time for now. I know things always work out, so now is probably not the best time to stress over things I can't control.

Yesterday morning I had my 2 week (1 1/2, really) check up at the University of Pennsylvania. When they called later about my labs, the doctor said that my creatinine level was great, but my white blood cell count is slightly elevated (I'm hoping it's just from that bug last week, but just in case I'm being extra cautious about washing my hands and such). My parents both had to work so my friend, Christine took me. I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that Christine is one of the most selfless, generous, and caring friends I've ever had, and I can't thank her enough, not only for all she did for me yesterday (without me even having to ask!), but for everything in life...she's truly amazing. Anyway, the appointment went well (aside from a little snafu with getting my stronger laxative) and we went to Pizza Brain for lunch. I was pretty disappointed in myself because I love that pizza SO much (I think that's a pretty well known fact about me!), but I could only fit in one small slice. But I guess one is better than nothing! We did a lot of walking between the hospital and lunch, which really helped me so much. I was beyond exhausted when I got home but it was so worth it for how my body felt during it. 

These are my observations regarding recovery thus far:

*I know everybody says it, but it's because it's so true...walk, walk, walk!! Sometimes my back hurts if I've walked a lot, but it's way better than how I feel just sitting around.

*Mornings are the worst. I never feel worse than when I first wake up. I literally dread it.

*It's normal to get tired very easily and unexpectedly. Just sitting here, my eyes are starting to close. Typing on a computer just made me so tired I need to sleep.

*You will get funny looks if you go out in public carrying a stuffed animal close to your side. I bring my kidney pillow all over so I can use it to apply pressure...lots of people look at it, nobody asks.

I'm actually getting so tired, I can't remember where I was going with this so that'll have to be the end. My apologies! I'll try to give something a little more entertaining tomorrow!

Saturday & Sunday

Yesterday I woke up, got dressed, and headed to Target and PetSmart with my mom. By the end I was so tired I had to come home and rest until my friend Claire came over with lunch from Panera for me. We caught up and watched super cute kittens on Animal Planet (that channel can be so addictive!), and when she left I was so tired I slept for a full 3 hours. I woke up, watched Will & Grace for a few hours (love the Saturday night marathons!), and was back asleep by 11. I slept on and off until about 9 this morning and was still tired when I got up. I think the exhaustion is the most surprising part about all this. I was actually told that, but it's still such a weird feeling to get tired from pretty much doing nothing. Today I went to my nephews basketball game, which made me happy since I haven't seen him too much since my surgery. I finally ate some Taco Bell (which is my absolute favorite and I've been avoiding it just in case it made me sick...I wouldn't want to have any negative feelings towards my love), and it did nothing for my bathroom issues. All I want in the whole world right now is to be able to use the bathroom (big dreams). I know that's a super attractive thing to share, but this whole surgery has thrown any shame I had out the window. It pretty much consumes all of my thoughts. I think at this point, about 80% of my pain comes from not having gone in a week. It's just so uncomfortable! I have my follow up tomorrow so hopefully they can help me out. I also miss being able to read in a bubble bath, so today I filled the tub with hot water and put my feet in it to read. Not completely the same thing, but it had a similar effect (kept my feet warm, at least). And then I napped again (because taking a fake bath is exhausting). And that's all the updates I've got. Hoping for a good report on my follow up tomorrow! :)

These are just a few of my many fading bruises from all the IVs and shots...

A shot from my pretend bubble bath...

Friday

Since I had that stomach virus I've generally felt worse. It's not unbearable or anything, but I'm feeling more uncomfortable. It doesn't help that yesterday evening I decided to stop taking the pain medicine in an effort to get rid of certain side effects (TMI alert: I just want to be able to go to the bathroom!!!). I woke up in the middle of night in a good deal of pain and decided that was a really stupid idea, so I just have to hope that all the laxatives work soon. The pain is a different pain than in the beginning, it's almost like it moves throughout recovery. Anyway, this morning I decided to try to make myself feel a little better...I straightened my hair, plucked my eyebrows, and painted my nails. I also put on yoga pants (instead of just giant sweats or pajamas), and my friend Dona and I went to lunch at the Amish market. I looked a hot mess (not matching and hugging a small kidney pillow to my side...also going out with no makeup is never a good idea!), but it felt good to get out of the house and get my mind off of my discomfort. Tomorrow I think I'll try to walk around Target a little and I'm hoping to make it to my nephew's basketball game on Sunday. I'm trying to function without doing too much...it's a tough line to distinguish because I don't realize I'm doing too much until after I do it, but I'm working on it.

A cute side story: Last night I spoke to my friend, Alicia, on FaceTime. I was showing her my incisions, when her adorable 2 year old daughter, Brooklyn, lifted her shirt and starting showing me her stomach. She said she gave her "kit-ney" too. It was so cute! Although her mother's parenting might be questioned if she tells that to a stranger...

While I don't have too much to update, I should take a minute to acknowledge how much I've been taken care of over the last week. My older brother took me to the hospital the other day when I was sick and he should've been sleeping. His wife, my sister-in-law, checks on me just about daily, gave me flowers, made me a card and a fiber one bar tray and even baked me my favorite cookies (chocolate chip without the chocolate chips!). My friends who visited, called, texted, sent cards and gifts...all was so appreciated. And my sistah, Kerry, who not only visited during my original stay, but hung out with me on my second stay to the hospital, without me even having to ask her to. My parents have both gone out of their way to make sure I wasn't alone at the hospital and that I was being completely taken care of. They've lost sleep, and had to worry an awful lot. My mom has literally waited on me, hand and foot, even when I don't want her to. She's gone over and above what any one person should do for another. While I've never regretted donating my kidney, I've apologized to them multiple times, as I feel guilty for having so interrupted their lives. There's no way I would've been able to donate had it not been for all the support I've been given so I'm incredibly grateful.

Here's my tray right now...I don't take medicine for anything so it's funny that I've got so many meds in front of me...

Post Hospital

Since I've been home, it's kind of all been a big blur, so let me try to just go for the highlights...

On Saturday I came home to lots of beautiful flowers and presents. I immediately took a nap(everything tires me out right now), and woke up to my sister-in-law, nephews, and my friend Dave having come over (and eventually my brother). I think my older nephew is a little nervous the whole thing, he covered his eyes when I showed them my incision. I slept fairly well Saturday night (on a couch...it feels better to be propped up a little bit), then Sunday I woke up and got ready for my best friend's bridal shower. It went really well, and I surprisingly made it through the whole thing. Afterwards my back hurt (walking hunched over takes a toll on the old back) and I was exhausted...I came home and slept a solid 3 hours. 

A picture from the bridal shower (thank goodness for loose clothing!):

Monday I thought I should probably rest, as in retrospect I think co-hosting a bridal shower may have been a little too much too soon. I felt a little off when I woke up and by night time I was feeling really bad. I was sweating like crazy (I'm always cold so I know something's wrong when I'm warm), and eventually I started vomiting. My mom called the hospital but they said it may have just been something I ate so just to call back if I kept it up. I tried to sleep (unsuccessfully) and by early morning I was throwing up again, and feeling very weak (probably from dehydration). My brother took me back to the hospital and my surgeon had me admitted for the night, just to monitor me. By the time I got to my room I was actually feeling much better and had held down a dozen or so cheez its. They thought it was probably just an unrelated stomach bug (I've got great timing!), but they still kept me for the night, and by the next day I was pretty much begging to leave. I tried to haggle with the nurse to get out sooner, and thankfully it worked and I was home by 3 yesterday.  I was really tired (because a full night's sleep in a hospital is impossible) so I took a nap and then my friend Christine brought dinner over and we watched American Horror Story. I actually ate 2 pieces of pizza, which is the most I've eaten since surgery, and I didn't feel nauseous or anything. I also finally drank coffee today (a half of a cup) which I haven't been able to stomach until now. So that's about it up until now...I'm generally feeling worse since having been sick...my stomach is a little more sore and I'm generally more tired (although I'm feeling SO much better than when I was sick), I've got bruises all over from heparin shots, IVs, and missed IVs (not a good feeling, by the way!), and I feel fat (that probably won't go away for about 3 months), but overall I feel much better than I expected to feel having just had an organ removed. It definitely could be worse and I'm thankful to feel as well as I do. 

Here's a few photos of the nice presents from friends and family: