My intention, from the start of this kidney donation process, was to keep a written account so that I'd be able to share it in full later, mostly for anybody interested in donating themselves. I recorded most of my experiences up until the pre-admissions testing that happened 10 days before my surgery. I stopped at that point because it was becoming very real and over thinking it made me a little nervous. I didn't want to freak myself out or overwhelm myself by getting too deep about the gravity of what I was about to do, so I told myself I'd take a break from the blog and write everything down, in detail, afterwards. Little did I know how hard that would be...I donated my kidney 5 days ago, on Thursday, January 30th, 2014, and my head has been a fog ever since. I just took a nap so my head is as clear as it's going to get for the moment so I'm going to attempt to type as much as I can remember. Here goes...
I went in for pre-admissions testing. They took 18 vials of blood (about 12 in my hand started to go numb!), did an EKG, I talked to my surgeon (Dr. Abt...he's great, I feel very comfortable with him), and they did all the check-in stuff in advance (copies of my license, signing of papers, etc). I learned that the recipient is somewhere near Pittsburgh and I'm starting a chain that right now has 2 recipients and 3 donors (they're looking for more recipients). I don't know if I'll learn more and I'm okay with it either way because once I donate I'll know that I tried my best and hopefully helped somebody have a better quality of life. Also while I was waiting for my appointment (which is never very long, by the way. The transplant department is so organized and well-run.) I saw a teacher from elementary, Mr. Rumaker. He wasn't my teacher, but I remember him because he was the only male teacher at the time. My friend had told me that he had donated to his brother, but it was so weird seeing somebody I knew there. I didn't talk to him because I didn't want to sound like a creeper, but my surgeon said I should have and I kind of wish I did! So cool of him to do that for his brother, I hope they're both recovering well!!
I went to the hospital at 8am to get an ultrasound of my kidneys for an independent medical study that is being conducted by the nephrologist. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met so I couldn't not participate. She's so enthusiastic about her work, which is actually the case with most of the doctors I've met at UPenn, and that makes me feel really good about what I'm doing. I was pretty late because of snow and traffic (I left at 7:10 and still didn't get there until after 8:30!), and the ultrasound took about 40 minutes. The ultrasound tech told me I was a great breath holder, so that's a new skill to add to my resume. haha They also talked about how easy it was to give me an ultrasound because I'm so thin, so that was really nice to hear as well (even though it wouldn't be for very long)!
I didn't get to record all of my emotions going into surgery but I can say by this day I was starting to get a little antsy, which I was trying to ignore, but it was hard with everybody asking me if I was getting nervous. I was like "no...but maybe I should be...?" Lol
At 3pm I had to stop eating so I completely stuffed myself with my favorite pizza and cheese fries from Apollo's. It was a bad choice, as I immediately had to drink this white chalky stuff called citrate of magnesia.
It was absolutely repulsive (or maybe it was just bad because I had just eaten all that stuff) and I immediately felt so sick. I took a shower and tried to sleep off the gross feeling (in the middle of the afternoon, which was brilliant). The rest of the night was spent watching tv and dealing with the "mini bowel prep" that was brought on by that magnesia stuff. Needless to say I went into surgery the next day completely emptied out! :)
I pretty much went in and out of sleep from midnight to 3:00 am at which point I got up and ready to go to the hospital. I had been trying very hard not to get emotional, as I knew it was just surgery and I would be okay, but the night before I had an outpouring of well-wishes from my friends and family which shook me up a little bit, so that with the lack of sleep and surgery being so close, I got a little sad saying goodbye to my dog (the animals always get me!). My mom and I made our way to the hospital in the below freezing weather, checked in at 6am, and they had me in my gown and booties, getting an IV and saying goodbye to my mom by 6:40. She was crying, of course (my mom cries a lot, I think it's just a mom thing), and telling everybody she could to take care of her baby. The anesthesiologist (who was a very young woman) took my glasses and wheeled me through a lot of hallways to a stark white room (which is literally all the detail I could take in without my vision), introduced me to a bunch of cheery surgery nurses, and that's the last thing I remember.
Thursday, January 30th-
I woke up from surgery in the recovery room. I don't remember much, just my mom being there and a lot going on around me. At one point I remember my mother asking what time they were moving me to my room because she had an interview with a reporter to get to. I thought I may have woken up in an alternate universe, but she was being serious. I asked for my cell phone and posted some stupid facebook status about being confused but okay (see why I was confused now?), tried to respond to a few text messages. At some point I fell asleep again, and woke up while being rolled into my room with my mom already there. I spent a couple hours going in and out of sleep, talking to my mom, and trying to respond to all the nice facebook and text messages. At one point the hospital room phone started ringing and my mom I got very confused as to where the sound was coming from, but it turned out to be my good friend, Jenna, calling to check up on me. She was the first person I talked to, and I was really happy that she called. My voice was very hoarse (probably from the breathing tube I had during surgery) so it probably wasn't so pleasant on her end, but it was nice all the same. My friend, Christie, who had donated her kidney in a paired exchange for her mother about 5 months ago said that said was shocked that I was able to text message the day of surgery. I feel like I communicated with a lot of people that day, although I know I was a bit out of it. I would fall asleep with the phone in my hand mid-message, and my mom would have to take it and finish it or I'd realize later I had a half written text on my phone. The interview that my mom gave was on the Fox 29 Philly 5:00 (or maybe 6:00, I don't remember) news. I was able to stay awake and coherent for it. It was so weird to see myself on television, but my mom did such a good job with her part. They took pictures and quotes from my facebook so that was a little weird. And of course they used a picture of me with a giant slice of pizza and one of me holding a half eaten piece of sushi, but I was happy that they included pictures of Cole (my nephew), Aiden (my best friend's son), and Papi Chulo. Here are some picture's from it (thanks, Liszewski!):
I got so many nice messages after that aired, even from people I've never met. It's great to think that I may have made people think about kidney donation, or even just doing something nice for others. I've never thought of myself as an inspirational person, so it was funny to hear people say things like that, but it was also really nice. I hope my story helped someone in some way. My brothers girlfriend, Amanda, came by for a few hours at night and I stayed up for that whole visit! We talked and watched the 10pm airing of the news story (which was previewed with a picture of me and the word "STUBBORN!" across the screen?? haha), and it was nice to have a visitor, although I spent a good deal of that time throwing up. I got sick pretty much all of the first night until around 4 am when I finally fell asleep. Of course at that point I got woken up every hour by different doctors (most of which I saw the one time they stopped in and that was it) who asked how I was sleeping ("um, great until you woke me up") and if they could look at my incisions, which at that point looked like this:
For the first few hours after I woke up from surgery, I wasn't allowed to drink but I was so thirsty...these swabs got me through:
Friday, January 31st-
Around 6am I decided to just stay awake since I kept being woken up anyway, so I called for a nurse to help me get out of my bed for the first time since surgery. They told me they wanted me to sit in a chair in preparation for some walking later. They also wanted to remove my catheter at some point that day. Unfortunately for me, I got my period that night which added to my discomfort (cramps) and made having a catheter a little weird. I couldn't get anybody's attention for while, though eventually a male medical assistant came in. He didn't seem to understand that I hadn't moved yet so I needed extra help, plus I needed somebody to dress me, as sitting up while wearing a completely open back gown really wasn't something I wanted to attempt. He just moved stuff around and expected me to move. I actually almost started to cry trying to explain to him that I wanted my female nurse (there was only one, named Talia, that I really liked and trusted the whole time I was there). He told me it would be at least 30 minutes and I asked to him to leave so I could cry by myself. I was probably overreacting, but at the time I was so tired and emotional, and I knew my dad was on his way and that a few of my friends were coming to visit so I wanted to look as presentable as I could. Luckily Talia did come to my room before my dad got there and she helped me put on clothes and sit in a chair. It was pretty painful to move so much and wearing a catheter with pants is a little weird, but I was so happy to have moved. My dad spent a few hours with me, then my friend Dona and her mom came by for a while. It was great to have visitors, it really helped the time pass, although talking during the first few days took a lot of energy. They also brought me fun presents (a scarf and a Mexican singing dog!) so that made me happy. Dona and Talia helped me take a walk halfway around the hospital floor, which was very slow but made me feel a lot better. I think at one point Dona was talking to me and I fell asleep for a minute just sitting there looking right at her. My level of exhaustion over the past few days is hard to even articulate! When Dona left I took a short nap before Christine came by with beautiful flowers and cookie bars (although I was still on just liquids), and we went for another walk. I took another nap before Kerry and Heather came by at night. We walked all the way around the hospital floor. At that point I had developed a cold and had been asking for medicine for it for a couple of hours. I asked again during our walk, and Kerry and Heather went out to ask the nurses once or twice while they were there as well. I didn't wind up getting anything until after 10 that night, so I was pretty much just left to caught and feel the awful pain that came with that. My mom came back Friday night (she had spent the night on Thursday because she wasn't very comfortable with my caretakers and left at 4:30 Friday morning, worked all day, then came back after!) and spent the night again. We both got a little more sleep Friday into Saturday. I was only woken up by aids on Saturday morning.
Presents from Dona and my dad:
Pretty flowers from Christine:
Two other things that happened Friday that I meant to add in: At one point the reporter who had put together the Fox News story had asked my father if he could have a sit down with me, which I vehemently refused. I am so very grateful for the lovely story they put together Thursday evening, but I think that was more than enough. Aside from the fact that I looked and felt horrible so being on camera or even just speaking to somebody I didn't know was the last thing I wanted, I also feel like that 2 minutes or so was more than enough to get point across. All I wanted was to spread the idea of organ donation, which I believe was accomplished. Having me on for a follow up would've just pushed me down people's throats and I really didn't want that. I can't stress enough though how thankful I am for the story they aired!!
Also, I was allowed to drink starting late Thursday night (I passed up pretty much everything they offered me...ice cold water was all I craved!!) and a little later Friday they started to let me eat. I also realized I was getting a terrible caffeine headache from not having any coffee since Wednesday morning. My mom got me some coffee from the food court when the doctor said I was allowed some, but (I don't know if it was me being picky or an effect of surgery) it was so gross it made me feel even more nauseous. Thankfully a good friend suggested I try some caffeinated soda (I was too foggy to think of that stuff myself!) and it helped a lot. Still to this day cold water and soda are the only things I really crave.
Saturday, February 1st-
The doctors didn't get to until after 9. At that point I was anxious to get moving. I was very uncomfortable and I wanted to take a shower and go home, but I couldn't take a shower until the doctors took the dressings off of my incisions. Showering was hard the first time, but I felt infinitely better afterwards. Checking out took a while because I had to keep pressuring the nurse and the assistants to get my paperwork done. I felt bad but they really kept forgetting about me so I felt like I needed to stay on top of them. When they finally gave me my prescriptions, my mom went to get them filled while I waited for my discharge papers. When I finally got them, the nurse asked if I was fine to walk to the car, I said I guess so and we headed out. I didn't realize how far the walk was (through multiple buildings!). The pharmacy was about halfway to the car so we stopped there to wait for the prescriptions (also I was very tired at that point) and I realized they hadn't given me a prescription for Benadryl (which I had been taking because the medicines were making me very itchy) so my mom called up to them and they said I had to walk back. A woman at the desk where my mom called up from tried to find me a wheelchair but they were all being used (I guess those things are hard to come by in a hospital?) so I walked all the way back up, the doctor seemed confused as to why I was taking Benadryl, I got very irritated, but eventually got my prescription, walked all the way back down, got my meds, and left. I nearly fell asleep in the car on the way home but I was so happy to be out of there.
Here are my incisions the day I left the hospital:
I know there's so much I missed (like how I kept peeing after the took the catheter out, but never enough to empty my bladder so they had to scan my bladder over and over until I finally emptied it and we celebrated the small victory), but concentrating for as long as it took to write all that has made me pretty tired. I also left out how I felt kind of under-cared for by the hospital staff, just because I don't really like to focus on the negative and I certainly don't like to call people out when it comes to their careers, but I do feel like it is worth mentioning that I had some issues.
A few other photos worth sharing...
The super attractive underwear they gave me...
Which kind of match the underwear I bought prior to going into the hospital, under advisement of a friend...it was one of my more embarrassing purchases.
The button I pushed to release my medicine (which I could do every 15 minutes) and my IV (one of 2):
